Unemployment Undefined-Song

Well I lost my job when inflation hit the fan

‘cuz my boss didn’t care if I ended in a trash can.

Because I was expendable and the statistics were dependable

That our country was facing the inevitable

Loss of demand for the supplies we were stacking

And with that my superiors sent me packing.

I thought to myself “I’ll just find another job.”

But, oh no, I was wrong so let me sing this song

About the unemployment rate that stuck me in the mob.

“If Average Joe and Middleman Stan

Are fighting for the same spot as Lonesome Dan,

While the Big Cheese can pick and choose as he please

Bringing all the honest working folks to their knees

Because the unemployment rate is sky high

And I really think my way of life is gonna die

So pick up your sign and step in line

‘cuz the unemployment rate is undefined.”

I didn’t want trouble from the guys at work

But one thing happened that really friggin hurt

My best friend Steve had snagged my spot

While the older gent of thirty years seniority did not.

And I said to him, “Hey man, how’d you land that?”

He said, “Was easy. They need new blood ‘cuz the boss smelled a rat.”

He smiled at that, not knowing what he said

And how it all just clogged up my head.

That’s when I started to get to thinking

How bad I wanted to punch him and start singing,

“If Average Joe and Middleman Stan

Are fighting for the same spot as Lonesome Dan,

While the Big Cheese can pick and choose as he please

Bringing all the honest working folks to their knees

Because the unemployment rate is sky high

And I really think my way of life is gonna die

So pick up your sign and step in line

Because the unemployment rate is undefined.”

And when I arrived at the protest assembly

With all the other people there surrounding me

I heard them say that “Our taxes need to go away,”

So I decided to listen closely and to stay

But this protest of the ninety-nine percent

Started something I later came to regret.

They hurled rocks at the stores and vandalized the streets

While a banker was stomped on by jerks wearing cleats.

The police came in force, decked out in riot gear

And the SWAT teams stopped by to add to the fear

The mob of people swarmed the cops

Fists and picket signs up when I heard the pops

Of tear gas canisters and rubber bullets cut into the crowd

The noise of it all was too damn loud.

And as the smoke screen began to clear up,

I found that I was in a van to be locked up.

As the van began to return to the station

My mind quickly had a revelation

“If Average Joe and Middleman Stan

Are fighting for the same spot as Lonesome Dan

While the Big Cheese can pick and choose as he please

Bringing all the honest working folks to their knees

Because the unemployment rate is sky high

And I know my way of life is gonna die

So drop your sign and get out of the line

Because the unemployment rate is undefined.”